I have returned from the cauldron.
I have been dreaming, transcribing, laughing over the memories,
crying with frustration, reveling in the discoveries and
being prompted by my editor,
again and again, to go further and further.
It is the best of me. It is better than me, for it has a soul.
And from the bottom of my heart,
I wrote it for you.
- Identify your heart’s yearning and turn its message into a pure, ceremonial intention
- Create beautiful metaphors and symbolic language to express your heart’s need
- Invoke and maintain sacred space
- Perform ceremony with effective, safe practices
- Identify community needs and desires
- Empower others to participate in the ceremony-creation process
- Manage large groups of people when the energy is unpredictable
- Hold ethical and safe space for others
You can buy this book in hard copy or e-book at all the major online retailers.
The vast majority of shamanic cultures do NOT USE hallucinogens!! Get over the current hype and learn the facts. Sonic driving is what brings us outside of time and into the the worlds of the spirits. Partaking in entheogens can interfere with shamanic practices because the spirit of the plant is too strong and can interfere with a clear experience navigated with a myriad of other helping spirits.. shamanism with entheogens is an entirely different technique that bring on information in an entirely different way.
Michael Harner is a world renowned cultural anthropologist who specializes in shamanism and has done his homework. He did start out with ayahuasca but quickly discovered that the drum, which other anthropologists thought was merely an accoutrement, is actually the main tool of the shaman. Or rattle. Or click sticks. Or bow. Gongs.
About entheogens and shamanism:
“From a shamanic point of view, the spirits of such plants not only have power, but they also have their own personalities and messages, which impinge significantly on the nature of the experience. Auditory drumming in many ways does not carry such influences.”
“… a Russian ethnographer who had spent 28 seasons of fieldwork in Siberia, told me that the real Siberian shamans normally employed only the drum to change their state of consciousness, rather than the psychoactive Amanita muscaria mushroom. The mushroom, Simchenko reported, was mainly used by nonshamans who have been unable to journey successfully with the drum alone. Also, he told me it is usually difficult to maintain the discipline necessary for the shamanic work when the Amanita spirit takes over the body.”
both quotes from Michael Harner’s latest book: Cave and Cosmos
This is the same man who wrote Hallucinogens and Shamanism, (a tract of very dry anthropological accounts.. ).He is well versed in the cultures that do use entheogens as well.
So please, please do not equate shamanism with hallucinogens. It is just not true. Being a shamanic practitioner requires years of training, self-transformation, difficult shadow work, empathic and empathetic skills when working with clients and fore-mostly, deep and long-standing relationships with specific (not general) spirits that help the shaman retrieve healing for others.
And some personal notes, the longer one practices, the more sensitive one’s system becomes, so yeah, I have had quite a few unfortunate hallucinatory experiences where I get pushed into places where I am in fear for my life or my sanity or my spirits can’t reach me or the spirit of the plant won’t leave me alone to do my work. Plant spirits are middle worlds spirits. They have a personality and a WAY, an energetic signature which DOES something. They are not in the class of entirely compassionate upper/lower world spirits that most of us prefer to work with. Yes, they will always “bring stuff up” and often there is a big mess to clean up afterwards but it does not always happen in the most compassionate or healing way. Do I need to cry for 12 hours? Or am I just being retraumatized? Do I need to feel insane to find healing?
Sonic driving is pure power, clean and clear. I have taken part in many, many shamanic ceremonies that kicked my ass and sent me to process my shit for months afterwards. I’ve channeled the divine so strongly that it took me a week to physically recover. This is no small beans over here, with the drum.
It is also potentially dangerous taking such substances in unprotected environments. I regularly have clients (and so do my colleagues) who are people who need extraction healing, depossession or soul retrieval after such experiences. This because when your field is entirely open and you are traveling outside your body, it leaves a space for other spirits to come in. It is no light thing to do, so please, please, do not engage in such practices out of sheer peer pressure because it is what ‘everyone is doing’. “Everyone” is not speaking about their true experiences..only the bliss ones. There are many kinds of personality types and some of them are emotionally/psychically closed down that they are pretty safe using psychoactive substances. Because try as they may, they are just not going to leave their body. But for those of us who are super empathic and open, it is an entirely different ball park.
On a happy note, there are some underground facilitators of hallucinogen experiences who are trained in helping your process in the moment. This can be quite valuable for those under such careful care. But this is not shamanism. Shamanism is the practice of going into an altered state with a clear intention to visit one’s spirit friends for the purpose of bringing back healing/insight for the good of one’s community.
Shamanism is not something you ‘get into’. It is a way of life. It is a world view. It is who some of us are.
Please see this very relevant video: Michael Harner on Sonic Driving vs. Entheogens
You may have heard of cord-cutting in your travels around the alternative spiritual subcultures. I first heard of it when training as a Witch. What you do is you literally invoke a clothe cord to represent the bonds between yourself and someone that you wish to be parted from, and at some point in the ritual the cord is cut with a very sharp pair of scissors.
This is a powerful act of magic but as the years have flown by I have realized that I don’t want to cut anything. Cutting seems violent and there are so many other ways to free oneself from unhealthy connection with other people.
I learned in Reiki how to become a channel of healing energy for another person without using an ounce of my own. This is safety 101 in the healing arts – safety for self and client, as we do not want to be sharing personal energy. I might go home drained. I might literally pick up someone’s illness. I might expose my client to something I am going through.
In my training as a Shamanic Healer, I learned that one should never walk away from a healing session energetically drained. One might be worn from the physical exertion of a larger event but overall, facilitating healing for another person should make one feel filled up. Exuberant. Humming. In tune. Ever so grateful. If it doesn’t feel right, then one should journey to the spirits to find out what went wrong. And ask for a clearing.
We don’t share our personal energy in the healing arts ever. We try to be clean. We try to rid ourselves of unhealthy connections or ‘cords’ with other people. These connections can be like tentacles connected to our power centers where we are being drained or draining others.
Getting deeper into Shamanism, I learned about intrusions, where one person may inadvertently send energy in rage or despair to lodge in someone else’s body. I learned that mainstream culture’s description of love as ‘giving one’s heart’ to someone else (or ‘taking one’s heart) is actually soul stealing and giving. I learned how to return soul parts to others that I had held onto without knowing it.
What I didn’t learn was how to identify healthy bonds. I actually didn’t think of them. I was so concerned with ridding myself of unsavory connections with other people that I stripped myself clean. I had this feeling of aloneness, telling myself that energetic independence was right. I felt…lonely.
One day I was doing a clearing for myself because I was afraid of falling into yet one more dysfunctional relationship when I caught myself ready to cut a heart bond with a friend. Hey, I had to stop.
We humans are social creatures. We are meant to get close to each other, to have empathy and support each other. It’s ok to need someone, if we understand the difference between needing and .. well, needing.
At this point, I was teaching the same methods I had been taught in my classes. I had to open the discussion to my students. What do healthy bonds look like? In a shamanic journey, tears filled my vision of open arms held around another, hands over the shoulders. It was comforting, beautiful and most importantly, there was choice. Either party could step away at any moment.
Ah, it’s about choice. Healthy bonds are a choice, not entanglement. Identifying healthy bonds is simple because they feel nurturing and free and open. Unhealthy cords can feel exhilarating in a captive sort of way, like a drug or a high. They can also feel gunky or guilty or obliging, but healthy bonds make us feel right in the world. To know someone loves us wholly, to feel accepted for all our faults. To know that they think well of us, not to wonder. To feel more sane, bigger, fuller.
Now when I ask my guides to do clearings between me and my loved ones (Shouldn’t any person I become close with be a loved one?), I don’t ask them to cut. I ask them to do their work in love for both parties. I ask for healing and ask them to respectfully not enter the other person’s field unless I have been given explicit permission. I watch them clear, unravel, bless, shine light. I ask them to show me where the healthy bonds are and bless them too, so I can learn their beautiful qualities and know how to distinguish them from the other intimate feeling of having someone deep inside me in an addictive way.
Some of us need to learn these things. We didn’t have loving role models when we grew up. There is a difference between clearing the rubble after an argument and pretending that the original problem can be sent away. Clearing lets the light back in and opens up breathing room, so that the problem can be worked on with fresh energy and continued compassion. Joy even. Trust in the process allows us to take space if we need it or enjoy other things together before going back to look at the issue. If we do need to take space, it does not have to mean energetically cutting ourselves from the healthy flow of love and respect that underlies our relationship.
Intimacy is a hard thing to figure out. It is mixed with new openings, knee jerk patterns, complete terror, loving patience and forgiveness. Sometimes what feels like an unhealthy cord is just PTSD. Just, right? Fear that focusing on oneself makes one a mean person or terror that the relationship will be damaged by the act of it, these things can be unlearned. I’m not sure which is harder to have but learning to distinguish between PTSD and unhealthy cording can aid us in figuring what kind of help to get. What form of love to go and get.
Let’s put a touch of love on the topic of cord cutting. Better yet, let’s never cut cords. Let’s love them gently, unravel them with great compassion for all the fears that allowed them to be created in the first place. Let’s return their energy to source and call in the great healing spirits of soothing light to clear the debris and put ourselves to rest, down in nice, warm pillows after a deep salt bath.
It’s ok to love and to be loved. Let’s journey more and more for our beautiful visions of what healthy bonds look like so we can learn them deeply and begin to put our trust in them. They are goodness bridges, these bonds. They are the ones we should be standing on. We’ve come this far, let’s trust that we can keep their channels open and cleared with the kiss of sun streams given to us by the Sacred Ones.
** Thank you to my dearest friend for teaching me some of these wisdoms through your relentless trust in the beautiful mystery of our meeting.
A spiritual path is a one way street. This is a law of energy. You take one step and everything about you and everything about the path changes all at once. Take one more step and you are in. The path itself becomes your tether to this life through an ever-shifting forest and what comes to you, in challenge or exhaltation, comes across the way you are walking. It is specific to you.
You don’t get to go back. You don’t get to change your mind because, unless you are just tasting around, unless you are just workshop shopping, unless you are just riding the trance high from one cosmic spiritual hipster event to another, when you finally pack your bags and get out on the road, your commitment will have been heard. The silent vow that you made deep in your heart will already have been accepted. If you turn around to go back, the forest will have changed by new awarenesses that you can’t take away. Try as you might, journeying back would only mean moving on, to a home that will never be the same and a knowledge that will never let you rest again in the ignorances of before.
This is why so many people are afraid of letting go and submitting to their spiritual hunger. They can feel the danger. They know that to give up control of what happens in the spiritual practice would invite other forces to participate and for power to be given to the unknown. To accept the quest of wisdom will mean to begin the irrevocable unwinding of avoidance patterns they have set up in order to keep their lives going the way that is most comfortable. Some people are aware that their marriage would not survive a spiritual awakening. Some do not want to face the difficult conflict they see would arise with their job. Even those of us fully committed to the path know that eventually, we all have to contend with, rather than bury the realities of our sick, abusive society.
Stepping onto a spiritual path is a dangerous thing. Dangerous because we are all good people and once we know the truth, we will not abide by what we tolerated before. We will have to change and change means loss.
But it will be so good to let go of what does not serve us anymore.
We will know when we have found our real spiritual path because we will become consumed. Unseen forces from the other side reach over and pull us in. We become enamored, star-struck, empowered, entranced, lured, unstable, dismembered, turned inside out, renewed..but under it all our drive is our hunger for wholeness, for love, for deep communion with the blessed compassionate spirits. For soul food. As we are dragged into the shadow, we are taught ruthlessly about our own imbalances. We are faced with a choice, find our strength and spiritual allies or die. Die a spiritual death, die in our purpose.. die a long death of acceptance or a short one of physical illness. If we are going to die, we might as well die all the way, forget who we are and come out the other side to live in the light of awareness and wisdom of love.
There is no spiritual path without shadow. This wonderfully sticky personal mire that captures us and won’t let go until we have understood it’s every mechanism. With this knowledge we are able to dismantle the patterns that have been and free our vital life energy. Then and only then can we return. Like flowers in the spring we arise and when we resume our lives, it is with more power, more traction, more vision and more consciousness of the assistance we receive from the other side. We are now in the revelatory work of learning new ways of creating, of play, of new constructs of pleasure. We know ourselves in a new way and we are strong. Our ability to love has increased.
And when time has passed and we have known all that we can know, we return to the shadows, delving for more.
What is it about Power?
Power. Power. Lots of people seem to be seeking power in their spiritual, self-evolutionary.. path of power.
Personal power, spiritual power, the power to, to… what?
The power to impress? Who? Oneself?
Ironically, power is all around us. It is in the air. It is in our bones. It runs through our emotional body. Most of us are knocked over, overwhelmed day in and day out by power coming from sources around us. So, there is nothing to look for. As for our personal power, it too is enormous, but often smattered across a myriad of interests, concerns and emotional investments which we may or may not have consciously chosen to engage in. How are we able to truly experience the magnitude of our personal power when it is rarely centered in one place?
The focus we need is not in finding power. It is in removing our precious energy from the activities, people, habits and media that do not serve us. We need to bring it all back to the core. Then we can redirect the power both around us and within us to align with our true values. This way we may become effective channels for powerful change and healing in a good way.
We can lose personal power through trauma, through soul loss, in power-animal disconnection as well as through entanglement with other beings or spiritual systems. When we commit ourselves to the healing journey, over time, personal power returns to us. It returns sometimes in big satchels all at once, through rejuvenating lifestyle changes. It can come in a POW through a major spiritual healing to be wondered at and re-embodied over time. Personal power can also come back to us like the tide, sure and steady, gradual and reawakening, as we grow and learn to root our passions from the center instead of always reaching out.
So, our quest is not in finding power but in reclaiming the power connected to our bodies so we can focus it towards the areas where we do our life work. Then we will naturally experience deep healing, have courage to face up to our fears and then with all our extra energy, lavish the world with our unkempt, beautiful passion. Our raw, wild power has been too long held down by twisted, mangled ideas. It’s time to clean them out.
May our values be our true beacon. Those values which guide us to right action, which the power-filled spirits can get behind and support. May our spiritual training be in learning the secrets of Power-With, as we learn to open ourselves to the vast resources of wisdom and dedication from these spirits willing to be our partners in bringing discordant energies back into balance.
For, we do not do anything alone. We do not create without resources. We do not affect without connection and we do not bridge without other parties. The way to move power is Together. This is more healing, individually and collectively than anything we could attempt to do alone. “Working with” requires that we work through our fear of other to learn discernment and then trust. Trust, fundamentally, in ourselves. Trust, always, in the allies we have met in the other planes. Trust, gradually in the people who we have forged our bonds with, based on the values that we hold in common.
Power is in aligning ourselves to our values so that we may be a clear channel and in learning how to redirect power to align with our clear selves.
So, I ask you, why do you want magical power? What will you do with it? What will you do? What is it for? Are you clear?
If our goal was to gain personal power and we hadn’t sorted out what are values were, what a convoluted message that would be to the spirits!
Would you really want power if you weren’t clear?
And Spiritual Awareness?
What is spiritual awareness? To be aware of stuff that our physical senses do not pick up, right? Some people find themselves infinitely frustrated in this area, a-liking themselves to a board or a little pea when it comes to spiritual awareness. Before striving to leap into the realm of the ‘claire’s’ (clairvoyant, clairsentient, etc.), it may be helpful to ask oneself how much of the physical senses are really being paid attention to, to begin with. When you listen to your loved ones are you really listening? Are you aware of their posture, the subtleties in their voice, the strain on their face perhaps? Are you using your mind to understand the context and history of the conversation? Can you listen to all of that in addition to the words that are coming through? How is it that you know what someone else is thinking?
When you have revelations or ideas, do you allow them to fill you and flesh out or do you take the information and keep flying? When you have ‘gut feelings’, what part of your body do you feel them in? Do you “see”, do you “feel”, do you just “know” in your heart?
Asking oneself these questions can really help get a scope of what is already there. Spiritual awareness is just an extension of physical senses. The lines can get blurry, so it is easy to discredit something that feels so..natural.
Why do you want to be spiritually aware? Are you not getting the information you need already? Are you following your heart’s desire and your true values or do you need something supernatural to tell you something you already know?
One wonderful thing about developing spiritual senses is that it allows us to know deeply that we are not alone. We can communicate with our spirit guides with lucidity. We can understand the connections between events in our lives more fully (through more senses). We can actively partake in the vast web of energy that we are part of. We can merge and make love with aspects of nature that make us feel passionate.
Just as there are many people who are trying to become spiritually aware, there are many others who are trying to find a way to shut down those senses because they have become overwhelmed.
This ties into the previous section about choosing where to engage our personal power, where we choose what to pay attention to and what not to. This can be very easy or it can seem ever elusive. Spiritual training can help one gain sovereignty over one’s psychic boundaries and be free to choose when and where to be open to the broader energies of the world.
Bless the Boundaries, Preserve the Power.
Healing to Get Us Started.
Because, really, there is a time and a place. In our culture of sensory barrage, our constant exposure to the oppression of choice, we forget that little dark quiet places can be nourishing and that in being open forever, we will inevitably drain out, fade, become less potent, lose power.
Nurturing personal power being the number one priority in life. Sound awful? Sounds healthy. We really, really cannot be of service to anyone when we are depleted and broken. How silly. In order to contribute to this gem of a world we need to be in touch with the gem of ourselves. Too many of us in the developed worlds have become like ghosts of ourselves, passing from day to day, unable to track or get traction or trace the real story of how we got here.
This power stuff. It’s so important. It’s like money; we decide how to spend it. But if our bank has been robbed or the treasure hidden elsewhere than in the chest, then it sure would be the right thing to seek the help of an experienced shamanic healer. Power loss is considered an illness and major power or soul loss is something that we need the big stuff – meaning LOVE – to bring back. Love is two or more people doing for each other or another. So, that is why healers are healers. They become a hollow bone from a place of utter service and love to allow the ultra-super-loving spirits to come in and take care of you.
Let them take care of you. When’s the last time someone took care of you? We are not looking to be bigger or better or special. We are looking to join the Indras web of infinite jewels as the jewel that we are.
Some folks cannot reach their power or awareness because they have such loss. Or because they are blocked by intrusions or a fellow soul taking a ride in their body. Helping these souls release to their heaven, removing the intrusions can get the whole system moving again.
It’s getting complicated, right? That’s what makes it so much fun! We all have our Tolkien maps etched into our bones as we pass from one entry to the next, scratching down our notes and picking up what sustenance and skills we find along the way. Oh, friends! Don’t forget to make friends on this journey. We all might look like freaks to each other but that’s why we love it. Each gem, so unique; each person, doing their very best. Earning due respect just for that – doing our best stuff.
The Trick in the Searching is in Being Present.
If we are seeking power, maybe we are not being aware of where our personal power has been spread out to or how we are letting external powers affect us. If we have no sense of power, then we may need a healer.
If we are seeking spiritual awareness, maybe we have not been still enough to understand the plethora of information that is around us, for the messages of spirit are manifest in every aspect of our experience: in our relationships with people, with the world, in the patterns of the mud splattered on the metro bus ad, in the way that woman walked in front of our car and how we reacted to it, in our own frustrations, in how we treat our bodies…
If we have become completely blocked to any messages but dullness or same-flavor pain or anxiety, perhaps we need to see a healer.
In general, if we are seeking at all, maybe we are trying to make our present match a picture of the past, or of how we think the future is .. “right around the corner”. There is no “right around the corner”. It will never exist here. It is all happening here.
When we are in our power and utilizing all of our senses, physical and metaphysical, the patterns of our world make sense. We understand that there is nothing to do. Nothing to plan for, only to be in the dance, in the present, on the wheel. Trusting in ourselves to do what we feel will align with our true values. For that is all we care about. Staying true, to our values and our word. Staying in integrity and watching the world fall into place.
Knowing that we are not alone.
Being a hollow bone is not a concept.
It is availing one’s body to the spirits to be used as a vessel for the healing spirits to come through and do their work for the good of others.
It is dedicating one’s life to the continual retransformation, clarity and care of this vessel so that it may be able to be the purest channel possible.
It is through the disciplined training of the mind that we are able to track energetic patterns, distinguish between the past and future, time and place, emotion and atmospheric pressure, to be able to cut through to the truth, and further to be able to release the mechanism of the mind completely and fall into experience, or stasis–whatever may be needed for the work at hand.
It is the earnestness of the effort of the heart opening and reopening, as boundaries shift and become more seasoned, allowing the right light in, the distracting elements out, in order that we may expand in love and not falter in it.
It is the endless, ever-shifting dance of relationship with every aspect of life and the living, from which there is nothing excluded.
It is the passion and joy of communion with the divine, as manifested on every spectrum from the formless, through to the metaphorical spirits, down to the lusciousness of the corporeal divine.
This being a hollow bone is not a world view.
It is a reality, a station and for many, not a choice.
It is an algorithm that continues to unfold the patterns of love in their multi-layered aspects, reflecting the ever changing state of it’s vessel, one that stretches that vessel to it’s very limits, many times beyond them, creating a symphony of open and closure, of birth, growth, clash, renewal, terror and bliss.
It is life itself, and everything that comes with it in unabashed nakedness.
The most powerful thing we have in our lives is our own Will. Our Will gets us out of bed in the morning, causes us to create and destroy. Without a Will we flounder. We can Will ourselves into doing something we don’t want to do or we think we don’t have the ability to do. What directs our Will, what lies beneath is two things, our need for survival and our values.
We have lots of values, like chocolate, Starbucks, fast cars or football games but underneath that, we also have values like a stable job, a house with access to nature… and then there are values like kindness, compassion, sharing and honesty.
How these values settle in our being determines the product of our actions. Our Will is deep within our core. The deeper a value falls, the more powerfully our Will will engage with it. It is for this reason that many people do not want to spend extensive time looking at their values. If they do, there is no going back; life will inevitably change. Are we ready to let go?
If we don’t know what we value, how could we possibly know what we truly want? When we make conscious choices about our values, we have more control over our lives. We are happier with ourselves. If we do not, then a myriad of forces around us like the corporate media, social peer pressure and relationships with others may have too much influence about what our values are and where they lie. If we are wounded, have soul loss, lonliness, those forces around us tempt us to align our Will with cheap answers rather than real solutions.
The long haul. This is the core of our spiritual practice.
Alignment of Will and Values harmonizes to create Integrity. A state of consistency throughout. With intentional practice, we also can align our Will and our Wants. Wanting is pulling towards us. Will comes from our core and moves outwards, creates. The stronger our Will, the more our Wants will serve our Will.
Now..Desire is something that is deliciously messy. Out of control. It can come from the deepest passion, borne out of our values, a hunger to fill an empty void or from some mysterious intoxicating place. But at the end of desire, whether momentary or permanent, there is always Pleasure. 🙂
I’ll leave the rest up to you.
This is an advanced article written for my fellow shamanic practitioners who may need some support during a psychic attack. A lot of this is practical advice that anyone could use, but some components can only be understood by those who have been on the path for some time and/or have been trained in compassionate depossession methods of working with clients.
This article is not about cords, curses or being possessed. It is about the specific situation of one person or spirit sending you harm or more likely, opportunities to connect and become food. It is also not about incidental (and mostly accidental) psychic darts that we send to each other when we are not careful with our energy. This is about enmeshment.
To clarify terms for all readers, a ‘possession’ is usually not related to words like “evil” or “demonic”. It is merely the soul of dead person (or animal or other being) who died and never got a chance to cross over. Many times they don’t even know they are dead. All they want, of course, is life. They have no life force of their own because they don’t have a body, so they drift into someone’s body that has an opening. Such opening is usually caused by soul loss. This soul (or suffering being) is just trying to get more energy and needs, ultimately, love in order to cross over to the other side and finish his/her journey.
The most common way that a situation can typically wind up in psychic attack, is through a very powerful relationship. It usually starts off full of one-way or mutual enamoring but at some point things goes badly, only for us to realize that the other person is possessed. Enmeshment has been happening all along, sort of like falling in love (or perhaps actually falling in love) but now that the relationship is coming apart, the enmeshment has become a psychological and spiritual danger. It is time to get out.
This can manifest in many scenarios: in friendships, romantic love, a teacher/student relationship, at work..you name it. It is no one’s fault or intention. It is more like two people who have entered a dark and enchanted forest without having seen the signs, having walked too far and now things have gotten out of control and it feels too late to get back to that dreamy clearing where the flowers were.
In this situation, the suffering being is activated and is doing everything it can to create drama in order to get more energy. It is painful, it is personal and it is not happening in a session room where the spirit is being brought in by someone asking for help. Neither the spirit nor the other person may be interested in healing or even hearing the concept of possession. You are on your own and the most important thing right now is to get yourself into the light.
You have the skills, the training and the spiritual alliances to make this happen. What it is going to take, is you, taking the bull by the horns and refusing to be food. This is very hard work but it is also instructive work, as every difficult decision you are going to have to make is going to be a lesson learned for future situations. How you manage getting yourself back to your own spiritual center becomes a template for how you hold yourself in the light from this day forward.
What it can feel like.
Psychic attack is very much like possession, where a suffering being has found shelter in your body and is trying to create scenarios that will produce high amounts of energy so that it can feed off that energy. That familiar “overshadowing” feeling of lethargy that many of us experience in training can be there, too. The difference is that the influences trying to create these scenarios are coming from outside your field, not inside. This is a subtle, yet important difference that most people cannot ascertain. Those who have been initiated into the field or those who have experienced compassionate depossession healings know the difference between energies affecting them from inside and from outside because they have lived it personally.
Because unfortunately, many of us have had to contend with dysfunctional environments and relationships our entire lives, we may not inherently know what it feels like to be clear. One of the first tasks practitioners do in training for this type of healing is to undergo a series of exercises meant to help us get to know what if feels like to be completely and solely ourselves, in our own divine light. That way, we can tell the difference when we are being influenced by something that is not us.
If you do not know what is going on, go see a healer trained in compassionate depossession. Actually, if you are feeling over your head in any way, it is always good to get outside help. Two great resources for this would be from Betsy Bergstrom’s website here: http://www.betsybergstrom.com/referrals/ If you think you need a soul retrieval or an extraction healing, much of this advice will be difficult to take on. You can find very good shamanic healers at this site here: http://shamanicteachers.com/practitioners.html
So what does it feel like to be under psychic attack? It feels like a normal difficult situation on steroids. Women can relate to this when they think of the difference between normal emotions and emotions heightened by PMS. Except that this situation is many times worse. When this happens in a relationship where the other person has a suffering being with them, ridiculous and destructive arguments can be ignited, bewildering both parties. The suffering being in the other person can see into your mind and know your deepest wounds. These areas get intentionally targeted and triggered by the being, unintentionally by the person who is housing that unfortunate soul. Thus, more drama is created. Pain, resentment, misunderstandings… and the other person may have no idea how badly you have just been hurt.
When not with this person, you might find yourself saying things like “I feel that person’s rage inside my body.” You might feel all sort of emotions that are not yours coming across to you from outside of you. You might also have that uncanny feeling of being watched, or get a completely unrealistic fear that the other person might show up where ever you are. The more psychically aware could feel a rush of harmful, seductive or mournful energy trying to get into their field. The other person may show up in recurring dreams. The spirit itself may be showing up in your dreams. The connection with this person and the spirit may be so enmeshed that they are in some way in the forefront of your mind every waking moment. This is not infatuation or obsession. This is enmeshment.
On the further end of the spectrum, someone under psychic attack may find themselves in a long string of mishaps and accidents. This can be caused by loss of a power animal or by attack from a magical practitioner outside oneself, using their skills for harm. There are people that intentionally do this, for revenge, greed or payment, but I am not covering this there. This is not as common and a much more severe scenario. If you are experiencing psychic phenomena on the physical plane, remember that phenomena needs to be fueled by someone’s energy. Refusing to ‘fund’ such activities can put a stop to it right away. Many of the steps below will contribute to that change, but it is also possible to say, “Not mine. You can’t have my energy for that.” and depending upon how the phenomena is being manifested, make an immediate change.
Overall, what is happening during a period of psychic assault is that the underlying flavor of your life is being colored by this other person and the spiritual influences around them, to a degree that is not healthy. You are becoming emotionally unstable, depressed or thrown into pain by the triggers that have come your way. Life feels like a crisis even though your mind knows that the events that have occurred do not warrant a crisis. Your own baseline energies are fading and you need to get the floor back under you.
Once again, reach out for help if you are drowning. There is no reason, actually no way you are going to make it out of this alone. You may need more than one kind of help. Many of these symptoms can be caused by other things or cause other things to happen that can be prevented. It is the combination of the symptoms with other subtle aspects like where the energies are coming from that make this a psychic attack.
What to do.
These suggestions are not listed in any order. The time is chaos so you are handling energies and emotions as they come to you. Many things may help all at once in every order or all switched up, depending upon what is going on. It would be romantic and exciting to say that you are in a shamanic battle but the whole point is not to battle.
The playing field we have to work in goes all the way from the edge between survival and aggression, to complete enlightened compassion. On the survival end of the spectrum we are contracted, pulled inside, protective. The line between protective anger and sending rage across to the other person is non-negotiable- as in crossing that line, you have lost your integrity. On the other end of the spectrum we are expansive, connected with all beings, including those that we previously perceived as dangerous beings. This state is reached through a strong foundation of spiritual work and receiving.
Our path is about love, loving ourselves being the first priority so ‘what to do’ becomes many series of deflections, side-stepping, letting go and accepting love. Once you are in a stage of feeling more healthy we can focus on emanating love but for now you need to get out of the storm.
Take it seriously but don’t invest in fear. It’s like housekeeping.
In other words, if you are at all concerned about your mental healing and emotional well-being, this is an emergency but we are supposed to be calm in emergencies, right? In the psychic world, fear attracts danger. On the other hand, telling ourselves that it’s nothing is equally dangerous. In the words of one of my spirit helpers. “You don’t want to create panic, but you don’t want to be stupid, either. Just do the work you need to do, like housework. Clean the kitchen and forget about it.” If you really don’t know how bad things are, conduct a shamanic journey on it. Or have someone else journey on it for you.
Take the bull by the horns and move.
What is at risk here is pretty big. You don’t want to lose your sense of self and compromise your ability to see clients and continue your work as a healer. The longer you wait, the more enmeshed you will be so it is time to take full control over the situation and make change now, as fast as you can, in ways that will become permanent. There is no room for wavering.
Forgive yourself of the notion of pulling out of the dark and magnificently transporting into the light. We are not machines. We are organic beings. It takes time to clear and every little thing we do ourselves moves us towards the light. There is a guarantee that things will get better if you just keep moving.
On the practical level there is a lot you can do, around healthy food, exercise, drinking enough water, time alone, time with good friends, applying all your favorite uses of self-care you have learned over the years. Keep moving. To stop and fester or trip out too long on what is going on is to weight in on spiritual death. Energy needs to flow right now. Even if you don’t know where you are going, just keep moving.
The goal is to disconnect
You have got to get into lockdown. Step one is getting the walls up. Some really practical things that can help enormously are as follows:
Do not speak (or type) the person’s name. Speaking someone’s name invokes them and all the energy around them. There is a distinct difference between the person that you love and the being that is trying to gain access to your energy but right now, the name is invoking them both, so just stop. You have to get your world right first. After that, there will be room for more human consideration.
Disconnect internet connections. Social media connections bring people into our thought-stream when we are not choosing to think about that person. Seeing what someone is up to is just another way of getting pulled into the emotions around the situation so closure is best.
Do not accept gifts. This is not about material gifts. When disconnecting from someone who is harmful to be around, it is common to be overwhelmed with the sweetness of how the relationship was before it went sour. This can be a memory or it can actually be a seductive energy being sent out by the being, (not the person). Understanding this can allow you to identify the energy, close in to yourself and just let it pass by, like the wind. Or put steel on the outside of your walls, saying, “There is nothing here for you.” until it gets bored and goes away. Maybe not as easy as it sounds, but possible.
These are temporary measures that are not sustainable. They are tools to use along the way to getting re-centered and plugged back in with your own divinity, at which point, these sorts of attacks won’t phase you at all. You will even be able to have compassion.
Do your cord-cutting practices. There are a myriad of ceremonies to help remove unhealthy bonds between people in the many pagan books out there so I will not list them here but I will say that it is far more effective if you ask your helping spirits to do the work for you, rather than doing it yourself. They have perspective and neutrality that we do not. They know the difference between healthy connections and unhealthy attachments. When this happens, all we need to do is ask and receive. Take this seriously. Don’t do it in your car in the parking lot where you have to be wary of people around you. Go home, create sacred space and invest the time. It is perfectly normal to have to do this more than once, as you or the other person may reach out again out of habit.
Let go of what you think you want.
In accomplishing the goal of disconnecting, you have to convince yourself that you do not want anything from the other person. Wanting anything from someone that is hurting you will only bring more pain. The focus is on you. You and getting yourself to a better place so that you can function. That’s what I mean by lockdown. No energy sent out towards that person and no reaching out by dreaming of what could be. Nip all ‘future pictures’ in the bud.
You do not want their apology. You do not want the money they owe you. You do not want the (fill in the blank) that you shared that you miss so much. It’s not coming back. Not this way at least. You are not waiting for healthy, clear compassionate communication or reconciliation to materialize. If it happens, it happens. It is true what they say about letting people go. If they truly loved you and want to be in your life, they will return. Shamanically speaking, we give people free will to be in our lives or not. If it helps, tell yourself you are going to be the super-Buddha, wanting nothing. Simply, do not want.
Do not need to heal the being. You have all this training. You have helped other beings cross over. You may have even encountered beings that presented themselves as evil, found their true faces and guided them to their own light. Good job. You cannot heal this being. Just because it showed up in your life doesn’t mean that it wants healing. If it showed up in your session room, brought by someone that is looking for help, that might be different. Maybe this one just wants to attack. It wants power. These beings are bigger than we are and if they are not in the mood to work with us, it’s best to stay away. You can hide your energy signature in many ways, one by changing the spiritual symbology that the person and spirit are aware of that you use. Ask your guides about this.
The goal is to realign
The sole, only and only powerful focus you have is the focus on yourself. Not the person and not the being. The person is drowning, and not asking you for your help. Don’t PAY any attention. Attention is energy that you cannot afford to be flagrantly spending anywhere right now. Power lost to you and gained by other. Ironically, the only thing that will heal anything outside of you in this situation is you focusing on yourself and nurturing your own light, anyways. This knowledge is not small. It is not a cliché. It is wider than the world. It is ‘the’ only way we can help anyone, is to nurture ourselves. When we are well, the cup over-floweth and there is more than enough for others.
Here are ways to get back into alignment with that which supports your health:
Start a daily practice.
Not all of us are cut out to be daily practice people. In a situation psychic assault, however,it becomes critical because we are encountering difficult energies and emotions every day–so every day we need to allow ourselves to be cleared. Take some time in the morning to do whatever it is that you do to clear your field. Meditate. Practice a martial art or yoga. Shamanic journey. Sit with your cleansing crystals. Get you butt outside in nature.
Open yourself to the divine energies outside of you and ask them to clear you. In this practice, you may begin to understand the difference between the other person and the being they walk with. You may even naturally find yourself shining light their way. This is the first step towards compassion. But don’t pressure yourself. You are not well and this practice is for you. When the session is over, close the sacred space and allow yourself to be human, having human emotions.
And then do all those things you do when you are freaking out. Chocolate, talking to friends, seeing a ridiculous movie, dancing to bad music in the living r0om… that stuff. Remember that alcohol is a depressant, caffeine shields you from your natural body rhythms and any mind-altering substance takes you out of your body. If you are going to get better, you have to get in your body. Exercise. Loud shower singing.
Expansion and movement. Instead of isolation, tunnel vision or stagnation.
The number one way a powerful spirit who wants our energy can overwhelm us is by making us feel….well, attacked. The fear that can be invoked, the “Am I crazy?”, the extremes of emotion can make us dig into ourselves and isolate. A tunnel vision can ensue, where the topic of this situation is all you think about as everything else in life begins to fade. This is exactly what the suffering being wants. We must remember that these beings really are bigger and more powerful than we are. That is why we work with our helping spirits. It is only through connection with the divine that we can have any sort of constructive interaction with them.
This is what I do. I find that sick place in myself that is comforted by being isolated, that place that wants to curl up and die. It’s a powerful want that can be utilized. Then I lock into myself just like I want but–I shut out the being. Then I expand in an entirely different field, the one where my friends are and my spirit helpers and power animals are waiting for me. Where the waterfalls and spring flowers are. The opening happens and the light literally rushes in. They have been here all along! It was me that was blocking them out, as I was blocking absolutely everything out of my field except the being that wanted to overtake me. But now, I am not alone. I am with. I am in relationship, as we are supposed to be as members of this beautiful planet. Connected. Inter-connected. Now you are part of a team working together to bring more light into the world, starting with your own system.
Good job. Repeat as many times a day as necessary.
It really is ok to feel. Emotion is useful
Underneath all this drama created by the suffering being, there is a real human situation where there is loss, confusion, pain and misunderstandings. Allow yourself to process the un-exaggerated emotions that are running through you. It’s ok that you got in this deep and it’s ok that you feel this much and it’s ok that you are separating to take care of yourself.
One strange comment I want to make is that you are also not obligated to feel bad. Some of us grew up in environments where the only kind of intimacy we knew was through emotional drama, rage, psychological or physical abuse. Because of this, we may feel the strange notion that getting out and feeling better is a form of abandoning and betraying the other person. It is not. It is actually better for everyone to get better. If the other person loves you they will want this for you too, so please, take care of yourself.
The purpose of anger in this situation is clarifying, clearing, unbelievable sharp sight, not the same as the tunnel vision of rage. Anger creates instant, unpenetratable boundaries – that you need right now. It allows you to be alone, separated from all the murky confusing, binding, slippery energy of the situation and to get the soul food you need. Use this energy to create energetic boundaries that are deeply rooted, very high, yet do not project anger out.
Do not plan to use anger to maintain your protective boundaries over time though, as prolonged anger will burn you up and can damage your health and relationships. This is a way to use anger to get you to a safe place where you can access other type of protection through relationship with your helping spirits.
The purpose of weeping in this situation is cleansing. Releasing toxins, getting the anger away from attacking your body and making you sick. Crying is good. Use this energy to listen deeply to the issues that are surfacing from your past so that they may be cared for.
Your emotions are for you. They are instructive and healing. They are not meant to be projected, psychically shared with the other person or judged. You are in your lockdown room and you are taking control back of your life. You want to have this space to let all your emotions run but under no circumstances should you allow the intensity of these emotions to go flying towards the other person. To do so can truly harm the other person and will surely give energy to the suffering being. You do not want to do to the other person what has happened to you.
So you need to watch your rage, in both its upper levels and the deeper levels so you do not curse or wound the other person. Or get yourself hooked back into the being. Don’t trick yourself into thinking you have it covered because your hot firey anger is in check when the depth of your rage could silently knock a house over. If you are a skilled shamanic or energy practitioner, to slip would be to use your knowledge and power for destruction, rather than creation and healing. Because of your training, the results could be more damaging than you know. This is highly unethical and there are severe repercussions for this kind of practice. You are risking your entire life’s calling being turned in a direction that will harm many, many people.
You must know how to perceive and separate your human emotion from spiritual aspect of your emotion so that you can allow yourself to feel without harming others. As was mentioned before, an attacking spiritual being will go after your deepest wounds so take the opportunity to face them and grow. Separate the old wounds from the source of the trigger and be grateful for the opportunity to have these things unearthed.
Allow yourself to receive
Allow your spirit helpers to come into your field and surround you. They want to! Don’t know they are there for you as a concept. Be present. Invite them. Ask them for support. Journey to your heart home in the lower world. If you have never done that, ask your power animal to take you to your heart home in the lower world. It is a very nurturing place to be.
Be open to new energies coming into your life. They are a blessing, will break up the dark pattern. New people, unexpected events or invitations, new flavors of ice cream. Literally, intentionally focus on spiritual light. On being a shaft of light…. but don’t get all crazy about failing or overdo it. After all your training and years of pulling yourself to where you are, just getting to feeling ‘normal’ is probably a ton of light compared to how it has been lately. Invoke happy feelings. Favorite things…just like the song. This is not a cheesy, shallow lifestyle suggestion whipped up by teenage new-agers who think they can project happy thoughts as a way of solving real world problems. This is an emergency. You MUST keep your head above water and not forget what the light feels like. You want to raise the bar in your energetic field, not allow it to be lowered.
I realize that not everyone has good friends in their lives, but if you do, hang out with and see the people you trust. Just being in their presence will change the energy in your field. Sing. Make music. Make anything. Creative action is flow and flow is very, very good for you right now.
And then lie down and let yourself feel bad. 🙂 Because you love yourself.
Don’t be a fool. Ask for help.
You are not super human or a super spiritual practitioner. Actually, any super spiritual practitioner knows that we cannot walk this road alone. To do so is far too dangerous. We are super because of our connection with all that is beautiful and divine. We are super because we show the same care we offer others, to ourselves.
Do ceremony to get your life going in the right direction.
This might be difficult but you have to do it. When we are in ceremony what we say and do changes the imprint of the world we are living in. So, really, you only have to keep your compassion, optimism and positive vision clear and sharp for the length of the ceremony. Then, as before when sending love and light, close the circle, go on your way and allow yourself to be messed up and human, trusting that the work you did and the help you are receiving from the compassionate spirits will change the energetic course of your life.
The goal is compassion.
Ok, so I know there is a popular song out there by MC Yogi that says, “Don’t follow the guru. You are the guru!”. It reflects a positive notion that all the wisdom and compassion we are seeking is within ourselves. This it true but not instantaneously! I am the Buddha and you are the Buddha but the cat just knocked a bunch of stuff over in the living room and I am busy and my family of origin stuff has been triggered and there is a monster at the door and if I do not lock the door I am going to die, so I am going to lock the door and worry about openness and compassion later. K?
So, once the place is safe and the alarms are installed we can sit down and meditate from a very small, equally locked room. In this room, we may find the healing and strength to be filled with our own divinity, self-love and light enough to be able to focus our attention outside the house. To consider a stance of compassion to that which just hath fucked us up.
This is a gift. A rush of joy, pure gold to be able to do this. This is good for everyone involved and actually creates a better field of protection around you. Do it as long as you can, then get up from the small meditation room, put your work clothes on and continue with the day. Disconnect from the spiritual meditational mindstream before going on with your day so that the opening you created in order to send compassion does not become an opening from which to receive more interference. Or be pulled out of with your dreaming of what could be.
The big compassion will come with persistence. The daily practices of self-care, allowing yourself to feel and also keeping the ultimate goal as reaching a compassionate state will slowly increase your state of grace. What was once, “Big scary demon. Oh fuck,” becomes, “Big scary demon. I’m not alone. How do you like that?! Ha! Ha! Tee Hee!” and eventually turns to “Big scary demon not look so much like big scary demon anymore.” Looking more like what it usually is, a lost and frustrated soul needing love.
Allow yourself to mourn.
And then one day, your old friend, or lover, teacher or boss is just a person. It’s clear. You can move on. Maybe it was all the releasing that let you get to the root of the pain, maybe it was finding the catch in your past that allowed you to let go, but now you can grieve. Once the attachment is gone, what is left is simple human-sized emotions. There might be relief, joy, sadness, anger, disbelief, betrayal, very likely all of that. You can go through them now and feel the pain without feeling like the entire universe is being ripped apart. There is no magic pill for the loss of the connection you had with this person. Just know that on some level, it was real. It’s just lost. There might even be opportunity for resolution with enough time passed and patterns stopped. For now, your job is to continue to process the real wounds that were triggered so that no one can ever trigger them again. Face that. Don’t avoid it. You’ve come this far.
When you are strong again, feeling protected and back in flow with Spirit, the first thing to do is to enjoy the freedom you have to think about love and where it fits in the situation while still keeping you safe. Remember the pure love that you shared and the highest view you had of them as a loving person. Everyone has a good heart. Wish them well. We are not allowed to do healing for others without permission but you can send them compassion to be received or not. To prevent old habits of sending personal energy out, as your helping spirits to guide you in how to be a channel for a higher light.
And finally, there will be a time when compassion reaches you, instead of you seeking it. I call this is a gift, as it comes from outside. We are in the flow of something greater than ourselves. Perhaps the energy is centering out from a great crystal in your heart that is in touch with something beyond. This gift is a gift like no other because suddenly there is no reaching, no work or trying, there is a blossoming within you that colors everything you are aware of. She is not a helping spirit to interact with. She just is. There is no worry about protection or sliding backwards because compassion for ourselves gives us good boundaries. There is a shield made of light and understanding and whatever is reaching out to touch us will only touch light.
Let this. This blessing of Be. Allow and place gratitude in the grace of being.
Who knows how long this beauty will sustain? Ask your Spirits for guidance. Ask the guardians of the crossings to come down and show this suffering being what light feels like. Of what could be possible. Keep working. We want to be able to carry love in our hearts for all the people we have known and spirits we have met. This is a good goal. It is the road we have chosen.
If this article was helpful to you and you are in this situation, read it over every few days. Your world is overwhelming and ever-changing so some suggestions may be more helpful on one day than another.
Many thanks to all my teachers from both planes, notably Betsy Bergstrom, whose compassion, bravery and patience has changed my life.
Peak Spiritual Experiences are meant to open our minds, our hearts and our bodies to a new way of being. They can be found through shamanic journey, planned ceremony, fire walks, relationship with entheogens, meditation, fasting, exertion.. and sometimes we knocked over by them spontaneously. They are a flash in the pan of what life can be. They turn us inside out. They change us on a molecular level and give us the seeds we need to bring forth more positive realities into our everyday lives.
Once we incorporate these experiences into our personal lives, we become rooted in a new reality filled with more comfort, or compassion, or creativity, or light and love, or simple honest communication and then we are able to reach again and go further. We are reaching, not always up, but sometimes down into the blessed divine of mother earth, or across, as we are able to extend our awareness to include more and more of the world that we live in.
For many of us, finding simple happiness as a baseline is the big trip. For others, finding our way out of our heads and into our hearts is the big trip. And then, expanding our embodied experience of compassion could be the lesson. There are many lessons. It may take many spiritual experiences over many years to incorporate these things, depending upon the amount of shadow in our lives that needs to be dissolved in order for us to interact with the world with clarity.
Unfortunately, many people use these experiences not to grow, but to avoid. When we are in a high level of life pain, our systems become consumed with survival. All we are literally able to focus is on is ourselves. We are blocked from being truly aware of those around. We are alone. And as is the Law of Energy, only alone can we find our way to the root of the pain, to understand it and learn to walk through it to the other side. Only alone do we find connection with the Compassionate Spirits and open ourselves to receive their love. Only alone can come to know ourselves, deep, to the bone. This is the journey we must go on to fulfill our spiritual destiny, if there is such a thing as destiny. It is called the Walk through the Valley of Death. It is the prerequisite to initiation on any serious spiritual path.
But for many, it is too hard, too scary, too shameful to walk the hard road. There is too much fear of what we would see in ourselves or what would need to change in order for us to return to integrity. There is too much pain and shame in our systems, so we run, looking for a way out. We run toward another spiritual peak experience, hoping it will take us away from our pain. We seek peak experience after peak experience, even creating sub-cultural memes around the benefits of such repeated experiences to encourage us to keep running. Underneath it all, we know that the real benefits will never come until we commit ourselves to the hard work it takes to digest and manifest what has already been shown to us in these experiences.
This phenomena is not any different than an addict clinging to the next high and honestly, is not any more fulfilling. Approaching peak spiritual experiences with a consumer attitude degrades the experience to being merely…mind-altering with the chance of something phenomenal happening, rather than being truly transcendent. Mind-altering does not necessarily mean good or even healing, just as “spiritual” does not necessarily mean safe or healing. I just means mind-altering.
This stepping out to avoid everything painful, it creates a form of soul loss and only makes the journey longer and more difficult. It not only removes us from the pain of the past but it also prevents us from being present with ourselves and those we love. In this way, it can actually create more destruction than we have already suffered. It takes away our traction on the road to finding life.
What needs to be present at these spiritual events in order for the experience to be healing is a component of honor between ourselves and the elements/spirits that are assisting us. There needs to be a trust in something greater, a giving over to guidance and a significant energy investment in intention, preparation and giving thanks and offerings. When the experience is over, we must do our homework. We go home, we process, we write, we do further meditations. We are honest with ourselves. We make changes in our lives. If we do not do this homework, we are not getting anywhere. We are dishonoring the gifts that have been given to us in our peak experience. We must take the spiritual insights we have received and manifest them here. Otherwise, what is the point? For some of us, if we repeatedly do not do our homework, we fail to have any more peak experiences because the spirits have nothing new to show us. We are not listening.
The big spiritual experiences are not the path. They are indicators on the path. Rather than using them to step out of ourselves, we need them to grow into ourselves. This is more thorough and complete, and it takes time. Most good things do. The prize we earn through the hard work is that we are able to find a true way out of our old pain. A permanent release and a building of character.
When we do this work, we become greater channels for love and healing. Peak spiritual experiences disorient us by rearranging our energy on many levels at once. Once we become acclimated, being in the presence of the same energies is not disorienting anymore, hence..our experiences are no longer what one might call peak. We turn around in a new role by becoming human channels for loving energy to reach the mundane world around us through our bodies, life’s choices, ways of being, listening skills and kindness.
The spiritual path is not an event. It is life’s walk. It is every step. It is not finding a life without obstacles. It is about learning how to dance with the obstacles. As we incorporate what we have experienced into our personal lives, the infinite small changes in our actions and awareness, like the petals on a lotus, entrance us and we become in love with our carnal existence, our human form, with all the struggles and the times in-between.
The spiritual path is nothing if not about love. We receive and we offer. These two together become a beautiful flow that nourishes self and others. We are here to grow, high and low, deep and wide, in a single point and all encompassing. There are no words. There are no words. There are no words but devotion.